Game of Thrones  The Modern ReTelling!
by Oxenstierna D. Yuki-Rin
Summary: Winter is coming... But, not to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada! But, it might come for Shinigami-san, Ladd Russo, and Yao Wang, since their relations are a bit sour after some bad investments. Who will emerge victorious from this bitter feud?
1. Pilot

**Long Summary**: "Winter is coming... But not to beautiful Las Vegas, Nevada! However, it may come to the Russo mafia family, the DWMA/Capricorn Pirates, and the extended family of Yao Wang, because they're all fighting with each other over some bad investments. But, things really heat up when Shinigami-san, principal of the DWMA, is forced to do community service after a few mishaps involving vandalism of Ladd Russo's penthouse in the Cosmopolitian, a stolen car, and jay-walking. This means war, because winter is coming!"

**Author's Note: **Here it is, my _Game of Thrones _parody. I will be parodying the T.V. show and not the book, because it will be less confusing and take up less space. I would also like to extend a special thanks to **Queen Eli**, who agreed to write the even-numbered episodes while I write the odd-numbered episodes. Without further ado, let's get this show on the road!

**Disclaimer: Queen Eli and I do not own _A Game of Thrones_, Soul Eater, Baccano!, Hetalia, and Vocaloid. Queen Eli also does not own my OCs from _One Piece: Parallel Works_, because I own them. Also, Shinigami-san's community service and what led up to it won't be until around episode eight or nine.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode 1: "Pilot."<strong>

**Summary**: "In the obligatory pilot episode, we are introduced to the Russo mafia family, the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance (why they are an alliance, we will never know), and the Wang familiy. All is well... Until Shinigami-san is asked to move from Reno to Las Vegas to take over the Vegas/Death City branch of Shibusen. These are the events that spark the modern, comedic re-telling of _Game of Thrones_."

**Summary #2**: "After a rough day of serving on jury duty, Shinigami-san, the head of the powerful Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance (which was probably created to make one of the authoresses of this fic happy), is asked to transfer to Las Vegas, Nevada, to take over the Vegas branch of Shibusen. He obliges and moves everyone in the alliance to Vegas. All is well in their new home... Until Marie is forced into arranged marriage to one of Wang Yao's sons and Soul and Black*Star walk in on Claire Standfelt and Chane Laforet... Doing things too R-rated to outright say in this summary. Yeah... It's just like a sitcom, but it's a _Game of Thrones_ parody! Oh, and a lad from Brooklyn named Firo Prochainezo gets married, but who cares about that? (sarcasm)"

* * *

><p>"Objection!"<p>

A shinigami known simply as "Shinigami-san" awoke. Currently, he was in a court house in Reno, Nevada, perfoming jury duty.

"Shinigami-san, what do you find the defendants?" The judge asked as he motioned to two "criminals" named Jacuzzi Splot and Nice Holystone.

"Oh! Uhh... We the jury find the defendants not guilty?" Shinigami-san questioned. The next thing he knew, Shinigami-san was literally being kicked out of the courthouse.

"Goddamn it. That's the second time this week," Shinigami-san commented before he tripped over a box. "Goddamn it!"

A purple cat with a witches' hat walked out of the box.

"Aww! So cute! I'm taking it home with me!" Shinigami-san said as he picked up the cat. A few minutes later, he arrived at the home he shared with his colleagues.

"Honey, I'm home!" Shinigami-san greeted the teenagers playing on the Nintendo Wii in the front room.

"That's nice. Get me a sandwich," A boy named Soul Eater Evans said as he attempted to do yoga on the Wii Fit mat.

"Me too!" A boy who will surpass God named Black*Star yelled.

"No. You'll spoil your dinner," A girl reading a large book titled _A Dance With Dragons _named Maka Albarn explained as a woman named Marie Miljonir entered with tons of food from KFC.

"Dinner's ready! Spirit, can you be a dear and help set the table?" Marie asked a red-haired man named Spirt Albarn.

"Do I have to? I did it last night!" Spirit whined. Marie glared at him.

"Do it, or I'm taking your porn magazines," Marie threatened. One huge arguement, several bitch-slaps, and three porn magazines in the trash later...

"Alright, everyone, dinner's ready!" Marie announced as all of Shinigami-san's colleagues, the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance, entered. Besides Shinigami-san, Spirit, Maka, Soul, Black*Star, and Marie, there was Tsubaki Nakatsukasa, Death the Kid, Patty and Liz Thompson, Professor Franken Stein, Yumi Azusa, Justin Law, Sid, Medusa Gorgon, Crona Gorgon, and all of the Capricorn Pirates consisted of this alliance.

"Bitchin'! We got KFC!" Soul said as everyone sat down to dinner.

"I don't care. I had to lose three good copies of _Hustler Magazine _to make sure everyone's fed," Spirit said sadly.

"Dad, they were just magazines. You can buy new ones at the store after dinner," Maka explained. Spirit began to cry.

"The magazines won't be the same, Maka! One of those issues was a sexy lingerie issue, and this one chick had the biggest boobies I -" Spirit sobbed before Azusa cut him off.

"I don't think anybody wants to hear about that. There are children present," Azusa explained as she pointed to Drusilla, Black*Star, and Dewey with her fork.

"Ahhh, porn. That's the kind of man I was," Sid commented as he threw his chicken bone out the window.

"Ow! My coccyx!" A guy walking past the house cried, because he got hit by the flying chicken bone. Everyone in the alliance laughed.

"Why are we laughing?" Kid asked everyone, holding back laughs.

"I think it's because 'coccyx' is a funny word," Heathcliffe answered, on the verge of laughter.

"Speaking of funny words, I believe there's a message for Shinigami-san on the answering machine," Marie explained. Shinigami-san got up and went over to play the answering machine in the other room.

"_Hello, Shinigami-san. It's me, Mephisto Pheles. I have some good news for you~! The Millennium Earl backed out on me and took my money AND my sandwich, so... You got the principal's job at Shibusen's BEAU-TI-FUL Las Vegas/Henderson/Death City branch. You start the job in a few days. Have fun~!_"

Shinigami-san then screamed like an excited little girl as he ran into the dining room.

"What's going on? Are you having a stroke?" Spirit asked Shinigami-san.

"Did somebody die?" Soul asked Shinigami-san.

"Are you pregnant?" Holden asked in a serious manner. Everyone else gave him weird looks. "Guys, I was kidding."

"I got the job! We're moving to Las Vegas!" Shinigami-san announced. Everyone cheered.

"Fuck yeah! We're moving to Vegas!" Black*Star cheered.

"Women! Booze! Sex! More booze! _Phantom of the Opera_ at the Venetian! Even more booze! Gambling! Whores! More whores! Even more whores! Even more -" Spirit cheered before Maka cut him off.

"Dad, we get it. We're moving. Vegas is not all sex, drugs, booze, and gambling," Maka explained.

"Well, anyway, let's leave for Vegas tomorrow! Pack your things, we're boarding up the house!" Spirit explained. Everyone cheered.

* * *

><p>"We're home!" Shinigami-san said as they pulled into Las Vegas the next afternoon.<p>

"Oh, my God! It looks just like it does in the commercials!" Black*Star commented.

"Now, everyone, I want ALL OF YOU to be on your best behavior while we live here. Just remember that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and you'll be fine," Shinigami-san explained as he drove the car past the Strip and toward the suburb of Henderson.

"Oh, crap, crap, crap," Spirit said to himself.

"Anything wrong?" Azusa asked, not looking up from her book titled _Living in Sin City for Dummies_.

"I just remembered that people I'm not on good terms with live here," Spirit explained.

"You never know. They probably moved," The cat Shinigami-san picked up the day before - whose name was "Blair" - explained.

"Yeah, right! One of them has a suite at the Cosmopolitian Las Vegas!" Spirit argued as Shinigami-san pulled into the driveway of a mansion.

"Welcome home, bitches!" Shinigami-san said as everyone got out of the car.

"Holy cow, we're gonna be living like we're at King's Landing, but without the death, incest, and Prince Joffery!" Soul cheered as the alliance entered the mansion.

"I wanna go swimming!" Heathcliffe said.

"I wanna buy some porn at the corner store!" Spirit said.

"Swimming!" Heathcliffe argued.

"Porn!" Spirit argued.

"Swimming!"

"Porn!"

"Swimming!"

"Porn!"

"Swimming!"

"Shut up, or nobody's going swimming or buying any porn!" Sid yelled.

"What? I can't hear you!" Justin yelled, for he had his iPod earphones in his ears. "_I wanna beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee anarchy!_"

Professor Stein facepalmed.

"Why did he get hired again?" Professor Stein asked Medusa.

"I have no clue," Medusa said.

"Say, Maka, Soul, wanna invite some neighborhood kids over for a housewarming party I'm planning on having tomorrow?" Shinigami-san offered the weapon meister and her weapon.

"Of course, because the power of friendship will conquer all in this _Game of Thrones _parody!" Maka said cheerfully.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just... Just go invite some kids. That was so uncalled for, Maka," Shinigami-san explained.

"Yeah, Maka, that was totally uncalled for," Black*Star said. A few minutes later, Maka and Soul were going around the neighborhood and asking people to come to Shinigami-san's housewarming party.

"Hi, we're new to the neighborhood. Would you like to come to our housewarming party?" Maka asked two brothers named Edward and Alphonse Elric.

"Can't. We have to bring our mother back from the dead," Edward answered. A few minutes later...

"Hey, we're your new neighbors. Wanna party at our house tomorrow?" Soul asked a man named Roronoa Zoro.

"Of course! That is, if I can find the place," Zoro explained. A few more minutes later...

"Hi, we're new to the neighborhood. Would you like to come to our housewarming party tomorrow?" Maka asked a teen with a stroller named Oga Tatsumi.

"Sorry, I have to babysit," Oga explained as he pulled a green-haired baby named Baby Beel out of the stroller.

"Aww! What a cute baby!" Maka commented. Baby Beel then peed on Soul.

"What the hell?" Soul cried. The next day, the housewarming party was about to begin.

"So far, so good. Everything's falling into place, and I think that we'll be off to a good start in this neighborhood," Spirit said to himself as the doorbell rang. "Maka, go get that!"

"Just be glad that we're not living in Panem, or Westeros, or even Voldemort-occupied Hogsmeade. If that were the case, some of us would be dead after this party," Marie explained as she put a bowl of chips on the table.

"Thank you, fuck you, the villain has arrived!"

Ladd Russo and his entourage consisting of Lua Klein, Huey Laforet, Chane Laforet, and Claire Standfelt entered. Spirit grew pale.

"Ni-hao ma!"

Wang Yao and his extended family, consisting of his little brother, Leon, older brother Zhao, little sister, Mei, and adopted wards Honda Kiku, Honda Hiro, Stacey Tran, Char Li, and Im Yong Soo, entered. Spirit's eyes grew wide. (1)

"Maka, sweetie, come with me," Spirit said as he ushered Maka out of the room. "Maka, why did you invite daddy's enemies to our party?"

"Those were your enemies?" Maka asked Spirit.

"Yes, Maka, they are," Spirit explained.

"How did that happen?" Maka asked again.

"Ladd Russo, Yao Wang, and I all invested in a casino resort development going on in China. I thought it was a risky deal, so I backed out. Turns out, it was sucessful, and the two got rich. Then, Ladd and his right-hand man, Claire Standfelt, got into a fight with Yao, because they thought he knew it was going to be sucessful all because his older brother, Zhao Wang, was a bookkeeper for the construction firm building it. Then, Claire and Ladd turned on me and accused me of collaborating with the Wangs, and it sorta escalated from there," Spirit explained. "Oh, and add in the fact that Ladd heads the Russo mafia family."

"Wow. That sucks. We could be really rich right now," Maka commented.

"Totally. And, I would be a pimp," Spirit said in agreement. "Though, I should let bygones be bygones and have a good time today."

"I think you should, dad. Just... Don't have sex with the enemy," Maka said.

* * *

><p>Over in Mexico, a woman named Ennis was about to get married.<p>

"Why am I marrying Firo again?" Ennis asked her "adoptive grandfather", Silzard Quates.

"Because we need to bring down the Russo mafia family once and for all," Silzard explained.

"But, Firo and I have only been dating for a month! We can't go all the way yet!" Ennis protested. One of the best men, Graham Spector, approached the two.

"Guys, we are two minutes away from a marriage," Graham reminded the two. Slizard just gave him the thumbs-up.

"Alright, Ennis, go out there, marry Firo, and bring down the Russos, no matter what," Slizard said.

"Right," Ennis said with a nod. She then walked up to the altar, where the groom, Firo Prochainezo, was standing. Also at the altar were Firo's best men, Graham, Maiza Avaro, Reuben Shaft, and Czeslaw Meyer. Czeslaw's girlfriend, Mary Beriam, was the flower girl.

"Let's do dis," Firo said. Maiza got out a sawed-off shotgun.

"Ladd Russo will pay for this," Maiza said.

* * *

><p>The next day, in Vegas, the housewarming party came to a painful end. You see, the adults did a LOT of drinking the night before, and they were now waking up with bad hangovers.<p>

"Fuck... What happened last night?" Spirit asked everyone.

"Man, was I messed up," Professor Stein said. Zhao and Sid then came out of a closet and looked at each other.

"Well, then... This is awkward," Sid commented.

"I don't feel so good, aru," Yao said before he threw up in Ajax's birdcage. The kids and teens watching the spectacle shook their heads.

"Should we give them something? I mean, I don't know how to deal with hangovers," Crona asked everyone.

"I dunno. They drank tons of booze last night," Kazuma commented. Soul came out of the bathroom with an expensive cell phone.

"Is there anybody named 'Zhao' at this party? We found your cell phone in a toilet," Soul explained. Zhao grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket.

"Well, I am never drinking tequila again after what happened last night," Medusa commented as the guests began to get up and move about.

"Can somebody tell me if I got into a fight with Kazuma? I'm pretty sure I did," Justin asked everyone.

"I think somebody jacked my money," Wolfgang said.

"Yao, what's this?" Leon asked as he handed his older brother a piece of paper. Yao read it over and smiled.

"It's a marriage contract, aru! It says here that you're getting married to a woman named... Marie Miljonir when you turn eighteen!" Yao announced happily.

"Excuse me? I don't remember signing that!" Marie cried.

"You signed it when you were drunk, aru. As for me, I signed it when I was sober," Yao explained. Marie facepalmed.

"Look here, squirt, when we divorce, I get everything," Marie explained.

"Good for you. It's almost impossible to back out of the Wang family's marriage contracts," Leon said apathetically. A few minutes later, the guests were preparing to leave.

"I'm sorry I stripped down to my underwear and sang _Go Go Carlito_," Lua apologized to Shinigami-san before leaving the house.

"I'm sorry I forced the kids to see the scene in _Bambi _where Bambi's mother dies," Zhao apologized to Shinigami-san before leaving.

"I'm sorry for trying to perform Inception on you. Have some fruitcake as a token of my apology," Mei apologized as she gave a fruitcake to Shinigami-san.

"Where did you get that?" Shinigami-san asked Miku.

"Oh, Kiku stole a golf cart last night and drove to 7-11 to buy this fruitcake, some Slurpees, girly shampoo, Mexican cakes, wonton noodles, and more booze. Oh, and ice cream," Mei explained before leaving. Since Mei was the last to leave, Shinigami-san closed the front door behind him.

"Remind me never to invite those people over to drink again," Shinigami-san told Maka.

"Okay, I won't," Maka said, not looking up from the book she was reading, which was _The Hunger Games_.

"Hey, Maka, where's Blair? She went missing last night while we were partying," Soul asked Maka.

"I don't know. Has Blair been fixed yet?" Maka asked Soul. A laughtrack went off in the background.

"How the hell should I know? I'm not a vet," Soul cried. Then, Heathcliffe entered the room. Unfortunately, he was naked, covered in soap, and wet.

"Soul, Maka, there's a naked catgirl in the shower," Heathcliffe said. Soul and Maka sweatdropped.

"Put some clothes on!" Maka yelled as she threw a pillow at Heathcliffe. Soul sighed.

"I think that's Blair. I'll be right back," Soul said before walking away. "Black*Star, you're coming upstairs with me for emotional support!"

A minute later, Soul and Black*Star were upstairs looking for the bathroom Heathcliffe was showering in.

"Soul, did Heathcliffe tell you WHICH bathroom he was showering in?" Black*Star asked Soul.

"No, and that doesn't help me at all. I mean, how many bathrooms are in this mansion?" Soul asked Black*Star.

"Oh, Claire, you're soo good in bed!"

"Oh, Chane!"

"Oh, Claire!"

Soul and Black*Star then went to the nearest room with an open door, which was a bedroom. Inside, Claire and Chane were... You know.

"Black*Star," Soul said.

"Yes, Soul?" Black*Star asked Soul.

"Being a dude is awesome!" Soul shouted. Chane and Claire looked up. "Ummm... Hi, there."

Chane then put on a nightgown and walked over to the two boys.

"Uhh... We didn't mean to walk in on you two having sex! Uhh... Please, don't hurt us!" Black*Star pleaded. Unfortunately, Chane maimed Black*Star and Soul.

"_Will Soul and Black*Star survive getting maimed? How will married life play out for Firo and Ennis? Are Ladd Russo, Silzard Quates, and Yao Wang REALLY that evil? What happened last night at the party? All this and more will be answered in the next episode of Game of Thrones - The Modern Re-Telling!_"

"My leg!"

**End of Episode One.**

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><p><strong>(1) -<strong> Hiro Honda is my human name for Nikko Nikko Prefecture, Stacey Tran is my human name for Vietnam, Char Li is my human name for Thailand, Leon Wang is my human name for Hong Kong, and Zhao Wang is my human name for Macau. (All are Hetalia characters, BTW)

**Review if you want to see Firo and Ennis' honemoon at Niagra Falls, Soul and Black*Star in the hospital, and more antics in episode two!**


	2. What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas

**Author's Note: **I need to put this one thing out before we begin - This fic is not dead nor will it be discontinued. Why was this fic not updated for six months? Well, here's the story:

Originally, this fanfic was supposed to be a collaboration between me and **Queen Eli**. However, she kept dropping in and out of the site, making updates impossible. However, we eventually came to an agreement - I will be taking on this fanfic all by myself, but **Queen Eli** will still Beta-Read this fic.

In a nutshell, this fic is not dead! Rejoice!

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Two: "What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas."<strong>

**Summary**: "After a fire breaks out in their old home in Reno, Justin decides to go back to Reno to make sure everything is okay. Despite that, Soul and Black*Star are in the hospital, Firo and Ennis are going on their honeymoon to Niagra Falls, a Russo hitman almost kills Soul, and Leon trolls our heroes. What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas, especially in this _Game of Thrones _parody."

* * *

><p>The next day, Firo and Ennis were preparing to go on their honeymoon.<p>

"Maiza, where in Nucky Thompson's name are ya takin' us?!" Firo shouted as Maiza escorted the newly-married couple through the airport.

"Niagra Falls. Slizard, Czeslaw, Mary, Graham, Shaft, and I will join you in a few hours," Maiza explained.

"Why can't you come with us now?" Ennis asked Maiza.

"Don't ask questions," Maiza explained as they approached the gate for Firo and Ennis' airplane. "Oh, Ennis, Graham told me to tell you this little topic regarding your marriage."

"And?" Ennis asked Maiza.

"And, I quote, 'You need to read _Fifty Shades of Grey_. It will help you with your sex life'."

Ennis facepalmed.

* * *

><p>Later that day, the Shibusen-Capricorns decided to visit Soul and Black*Star in the hospital.<p>

"What the hell happened to you?! How the hell did you end up here?!" Marie cried.

"Oh, we accidentally walked in on two people having sex. No biggie," Soul explained. Maka threw a copy of the book _Insurgent_ at Soul.

"That is a biggie, Soul! Because of that accidental walk-in, you're in the hospital!" Maka explained.

"Didn't you two walk in on people from the mafia?" Tsubaki asked Black*Star and Soul. Kid tugged at his shirt collar nervously.

"Anybody want something to eat from the cafeteria?" Kid offered.

"Actually, we were about to leave. Since we're working at the DWMA, we need to file lots of paperwork," Professor Stein explained as he motioned to the adults.

"Why do we have to file paperwork?! Can't we go catch an adult movie or something?!" Spirit cried.

"Do you want to lose a job you haven't even worked at?!" Professor Stein retorted. Spirit sighed.

"We'll see you later, kids," Spirit said. "Do you guys want pizza or McDonald's for dinner?"

"Pizza," The teens said in unison. The adults then left the room.

"I was expecting them to say different stuff," Sid said as they entered the elevator. When the elevator stopped at the lobby floor, the adults found themselves face-to-face with Chane and Claire.

"You whore!"

Marie then tackled Chane to the ground.

"What the hell was that for?!" Chane yelled.

"You put two of my students in the hospital! This isn't right!" Marie yelled.

"Their beating was justified! They walked in on us!" Chane yelled as Claire and Professor Stein tried to break up the fight. Shinigami-san sighed as a Russo hitman with a Tommy gun walked past.

"And what brings you here?!" Shinigami-san asked the hitman, who screamed.

"Oh, Shinigami-san, I wasn't going to assassinate one of your students, even though I'm telling you very blatant lies!" The hitman yelled. Shinigami-san responded by soaking a rag with chloroform and stuffing the rag in the hitman's mouth. Everyone sweatdropped as the Russo hitman passed out.

"I am so done," Shinigami-san said before he floated away.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, the adults arrived home, where a message was waiting for them on the phone.<p>

"Who called while we were gone?" Marie asked everyone.

"Probably Tyki Mikk from Shibusen," Shinigami-san said before he pressed the button on the answering machine.

"_Marie, it's me, Joe _-"

"I'm not listening!" Marie yelled before she left the room.

"_I just saw some people affiliated with Ladd Russo, and they just set your old house on fire. It's still standing, but it's severly damaged. You might want to come back to Reno to take care of the damage._"

A few minutes later, the kids arrived home from the hospital.

"Hey, dad. Did you order the pizza yet?" Maka asked as she hung her coat up.

"Yeah, about that..." Spirit said.

"We need to talk," Professor Stein said curtly. What seemed like minutes later, the Shibusen-Capricorns were at a pizza restaurant.

"Our house burned down?!" The kids cried.

"No, it did not. Stuff inside the house burned. There's a difference," Sid pointed out.

"How bad is it?" Maka asked fearfully.

"The house is fine, but it's severly damaged. Tomorrow, Justin will go back to Reno to begin the rebuild of the house," Sid explained.

"When is he coming back?" Kid asked.

"When he fucking feels -" Sid answered before Azusa stomped on his foot under the table. "Ow! Son of a -"

"Before I leave, I'd like to give you some advice -" Justin explained. "Winter is coming. You're all getting gift cards."

Justin then began passing out gift cards to everyone.

"I got Starbucks. What did you get?" Soul asked Black*Star and Kid.

"I got iTunes," Black*Star answered.

"Trade you for my McDonald's gift card," Kid offered.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, the adults were dropping the teenagers off at the mall.<p>

"Why are you abandoning us here?" Crona asked the adults.

"You need to get new outfits for school. Don't wanna be looking like dorks!" Shinigami-san explained.

"What are you guys going to do?" Soul asked the adults.

"Gamble, duh," Spirit answered before Shinigami-san karate-chopped him. "I, mean, I'm going to wait in the car and read a Playboy."

Shinigami-san karate-chopped Spirit again.

"I was going to read the articles!" Spirit argued.

"Uhh... Shinigami-san, we just got new clothes in Reno when were we about to start school at Spartoi High," Liz pointed out.

"To be honest, I didn't like those clothes," Shinigami-san said bluntly.

"Woah! Father, when did you become so rude?!" Kid asked his Shinigami father.

"I just finished reading _Divergent_, and I took a quiz to see what Faction I'd be in. Turns out, I'd be in Candor, and that made me realize that I need to be more honest in my new workplace," Shinigami-san explained. "Now, go shopping. I'll be waiting in the car. Oh, and, Kid?"

"Yes father?" Kid asked.

"Buy me a pretzel from Wetzel's Pretzels. You know you love your father," Shinigami-san requested. With a sigh, Kid headed into the mall to join his friends.

"So, where are we going to start?" Kid asked everyone.

"Well, while you were outside taking to Shinigami-san, we all took a vote on where we're going first. Hot Topic won by a landslide," Maka explained.

"Why am I not surprised?" Kid asked everyone as they got on an escalator.

"Lots of us love Hot Topic - They've got cool clothes, they've got cool stuff, you know? Plus, they even have the Crazy Cat Lady Board Game, and you know that's hard to find at a Toys R' Us," Soul explained as they approached Hot Topic. To their horror, Leon was standing outside of the store.

"Oh, look, it's that dweeb Marie has to marry," Black*Star whispered to Soul.

"What do we do? Running into Marie's teenaged fianceé is awkward," Soul whispered back.

"Are you talking about me by any chance?" Leon asked Black*Star and Soul.

"Uhh... Kind of. We're just talking about how awkward and wrong it must feel that you're engaged," Soul explained. Leon arched an eyebrow.

"Really? Maybe you should stop doing that. It hurts people's feelings, you know," Leon pointed out.

"Was that sarcasm?!" Soul yelled. "Say that again, Leon!"

"I said -" Leon said before he was tackled to the ground and scratched by a cat. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! I take everything back! I forgive you for starting that fight!"

Clutching his bleeding face, Leon ran off. Soul looked down, and the cat transformed into Blair.

"Blair, what are you doing here?" Soul asked the catgirl.

"I wanted to help you guys shop, when I saw the boy Marie has to marry in a few years harass you. I hope I didn't go overboard," Blair explained.

"No... You didn't," Tsubaki answered.

* * *

><p>When the kids and Blair got home, Shinigami-san was on the phone with Yao.<p>

"Uh-huh. Uh-huh. It was in justifiable self-defense, Yao! Spirit told me that on his way home! Uh-huh. Yes. Yes. Wait... Could you repeat that?" Shinigami-san said into the phone. "You want us to do WHAT with that cat?!"

Out of fear, Blair transformed into a cat.

"No, no, we can do it tonight. Bye," Shinigami-san said before he hung up. He then faced everyone.

"What's going on?" Maka asked Shinigami-san.

"That was Yao. Because Blair attacked Leon while he was at the mall today, we have to get Blair... Fixed," Shinigami-san explained seriously. Everyone but Blair laughed.

"So, who wants to take Blair to the vet?" Shinigami-san asked everyone.

"Pass. I need to finish reading _The Fault in Our Stars_," Maka said.

"Naruto's on in five minutes, and I can't miss that!" Black*Star explained.

"I was going to take a bath," Tsubaki said.

"I need to fix my swirly chair," Professor Stein said.

"I have places to go that aren't Leon's house and people to see who aren't Leon," Marie explained.

"I need to re-watch _The Pandorica Opens _and _The Big Bang_ episodes of Doctor Who," Hana said.

"Taking animals to the vet to get them fixed was NOT the kind of man I was!" Sid yelled.

"No. Just no," Azusa said before she left the room. Everyone else followed, leaving only Spirit, Blair, and Shinigami-san in the room.

"Well, Spirit, looks like it's up to you!" Shinigami-san said as he handed Blair to Spirit.

* * *

><p>A few minutes later, Spirit was driving Blair - who was back in human form - to the vet's office.<p>

"Spirit, I don't want to be fixed. This is a stupid punishment. I was just trying to help Soul," Blair pleaded. But, Spirit pulled into the parking lot of the veterinary offices.

"I don't want you to get fixed either, Blair," Spirit explained. "But..."

Spirit turned the car around and drove in the direction of the Las Vegas Strip.

"That's why we're hitting the town."

Then, a montage began as speedy jazz music began to play. Several things in the montage include:

- Spirit and Blair riding the monorail, with Spirit pointing out various things to Blair.

- Spirit and Blair playing a basketball game in an arcade. When the game ends, an attendant gives Blair a giant Pikachu doll and Spirit a giant Charmander plush.

- Spirit and Blair riding in a Ferrari while wearing badass sunglasses.

- Spirit and Blair exiting the Forum Shops at Caesars' Palace with several bags.

- Spirit and Blair playing Dance Dance Reolution at the arcade in Circus Circus.

- Spirit and Blair riding the roller coaster at New York New York

- Spirit and Blair watching the lions at the MGM Grand

- Spirit and Blair watching the Bellagio fountains

- Spirit and Blair singing _Somebody That I Used to Know_ on karaoke.

- Spirit and Blair watching a boxing match. Suddenly, a riot broke out and Spirit and Blair ran for it.

- The montage ends with Spirit and Blair drinking cocktails at a fancy bar while the riot rages in the background.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Spirit and Blair arrived back at the house.<p>

"There you are! What took so long?" Maka asked her father and Blair.

"Oh, it was tons of fun! We had such a good time!" Spirit said happily. Everyone sweatdropped.

"_Looks like Spirit's more twisted than me..._" Professor Stein thought to himself.

* * *

><p>Up in Reno, Justin went to the supermarket to get some groceries, since he was going to be at the house for a while.<p>

"Sir, what do you plan to do with all of that alcohol?"

Justin looked up from the magazine he was reading and looked past the people in line in front of him. At the end of the line was Huey, who was trying to buy many bottles of alcohol.

"I'm here in town for business, and I need all this alcohol to conduct my business-related work," Huey explained.

"I'd like to see some I.D.," The cashier told Huey. Justin said nothing as he looked back down to his magazine.

**End of Episode Two.**

* * *

><p><strong>Ending Note: Review if you want to see episode three very soon.<strong>


	3. Ennis is a Baby Mama Now

**Author's Note: **Merry Christmas to everyone reading this. Here's episode three, which makes for a great gift for the whole family.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Three: "Ennis is a Baby Mama Now."<strong>

**Summary**: "After having fun in Niagra Falls, Ennis, Firo, and their gang decide to go to Maiza's townhouse in New York City for a while. While there, Ennis becomes a bit ill, and her symptoms mirror the symptoms of... Pregnancy? Meanwhile, in Reno, Justin decides to wreck Huey's hotel room while he's away, but a little creature named "Excalibur" could interfere with his plans. Back in Vegas, the other members of the alliance find out who really made an attempt on Soul's life and they argue about Leon. Yep, this _Game of Thrones _parody does look like a sitcom, indeed."

* * *

><p>A few days later, Ennis, Firo, and their entourage were preparing to leave Niagra Falls.<p>

"So, Maiza, where are we headin' ta next?" Firo asked his "daddy".

"Your favorite place in the world outside of Italy, Chicago, Boston, Miami, and Vegas - New York City!" Maiza announced.

"Oh, boy! We're goin' ta New York!" Firo said as he jumped up and down excitedly. Everyone else sweatdropped.

"_Well, then..._" Graham - in a very rare, OOC moment - thought to himself. A few hours later, the entourage arrived at Maiza's large townhouse on the East Side of NYC.

"Maiza, where will we go next?" Ennis asked as she carried her luggage into the town house.

"Probably Chicago. I know some people there... That we should put in jail," Maiza explained.

"*Cough*Ladd Russo's people*Cough*," Graham coughed.

"Hey, Silzard, could you please do me a favor and take my bags to my room? I'm feeling a bit ill," Ennis requested. Silzard glared at Ennis.

"Excuse me?! What did you just say?!" Silzard yelled.

"Actually, all I asked - POLITELY - was to help me with my bags. I'm not feeling well, so -" Ennis explained before Silzard bitch-slapped her.

"You DO NOT tell me what to do! Do I make myself clear?!" Silzard asked Ennis.

"Y-Yes, Silzard," Ennis said. With a huff, Silzard left the room.

"Sheesh! Abusive much?" Firo commented. Ennis sighed.

"Welcome to my - Excuse me for a second," Ennis said before running off. From the entry hall, Firo, Czeslaw, Mary, Maiza, Graham, and Reuben heard Ennis throw up.

"Shut up! I'm trying to watch Sex in the City - I mean, read _Pride and Prejudice_!" Silzard yelled from Maiza's library.

"Firo, get me a grilled cheese with a raw fish! The fish MUST BE IN BETWEEN THE SLICES OF BREAD AND COVERED IN MELTED, VELVEETA CHEESE!" Ennis shouted from the bathroom before she threw up again. "Dear Lord! I want Girl Scout cookies!"

Two days later, Ennis was still throwing up and craving weird food combinations.

"Ennis, what's wrong? Are you going to have a baby?" Mary - acting on a dare from Czeslaw - asked Ennis, who glared at her.

"Of course not. Now, get me some Chinese food. By that, I mean AUTHENTIC Chinese food you can get at Chinatown, not that Panda Express crap," Ennis explained. From the other room, Maiza and Firo watched this spectacle. (1)

"I think it's time we got Ennis a pregnancy test," Maiza stated.

"But, we never did it," Firo said. "When Silzard thought we did it, we hired two prostitutes to - *ahem* - have sex in our hotel room while we went ta get coffee."

"Doesn't matter, just get the woman her damn pregnancy test," Maiza ordered.

* * *

><p>Back in Vegas, Spirit was walking down the stairs as jazz music played in the background. He wore a pimp suit with a pimp fedora, and carried a pimp cane. Maka facepalmed.<p>

"Dad, what the hell is wrong with you?! First, it's that night out with Blair, now this!" Maka cried.

"Maka, please! We're watching _Jackass _in the other room!" Soren shouted from the other room.

"Well, Maka, the adults are going to Shinigami-san's welcoming party," Spirit explained. The rest of the adults entered the room, but they wore their normal clothes.

"Sempai, are you aware that we're going to a nightclub for this party?" Professor Stein asked Spirit.

"Yep! I hope it's one of those swanky ones where you HAVE TO dress in a suit as pimping as mine!" Spirit said. A few minutes later, they arrived at a sleazy nightclub at the Monte Carlo.

"Wow... This place really sucks," Spirit commented. "Can we go home?"

"No! It's my party, bitch!" Shinigami-san cried. Azusa sighed.

"Who wants to have a few pity drinks with me?" Azusa asked. Nobody replied. "Fine then. If anybody needs me, I'll be at the bar getting smashed."

Azusa walked away.

"Women..." Spirit muttered.

"Women, booze, and sleazy nightclubs. That's the kind of man I was," Sid commented.A man named Tyki Mikk approached the group.

"You must be the new principal of Shibusen! I've heard so much about you!" Tyki said as he shook Shinigami-san's huge hand. "I'm Tyki Mikk, the assistant principal of Shibusen!"

"And I am Spirit Albarn, father, Death Scythe, and Pimp Master #1," Spirit said suavely. Shinigami-san gave him a Maka Chop.

"Don't you dare embarass me at my party!" Shinigami-san shouted. Tyki chuckled.

"It's okay, I've seen pimps before," Tyki said. "Anyway, Shinigami-san, I'm glad I found you. I was thinking of doing an Ikkitousen-styled fighting tournament with our rival school, True Cross Academy, in honor of you joining the Shibusen Las Vegas/Death City family."

"Oh, goody! I love Ikkitousen! But, there's one thing that perplexes me about that anime - Why do the girls always wear Chinese dresses?" Spirit asked Shinigami-san and Tyki.

"Hmmm... Spirit, that's a pretty good question. But, I don't think I can answer it without asking ChaCha," Tyki explained.

"I think I have a possible answer to this," Shinigami-san. Over in the corner, Lua was aiming a shotgun at Spirit.

"Now, Lua, sweetums, you know what to do. It's going to rain blood afterwards, so I hope you brought along that white parasol I bought for you at Nordstrom Rack," Ladd explained. Lua then steadied the gun. "Now, you -"

Two cops then put Lua in handcuffs.

"Uhh... I was holding it for a friend?" Lua lied before being led away. Ladd stomped his foot.

"Goddamn it! Now how will I kill Spirit Albarn now?!" Ladd cried. Back with Spirit, Tyki, and Shinigami-san...

"Huh. I never thought that that would be a reason to wear a Chinese dress," Tyki commented.

"Interesting..." Spirit said as he stroked his invisible goatee.

"What about that maid chick?" Shinigami-san asked Tyki.

"Oh, it's her uniform," Tyki answered with a wave of his hand. Something then mentally snapped inside Spirit's perverted head.

"I should call the babysitter and check up on the kids," Spirit said to himself. Shinigami-san gave Spirit a weird look.

"You called a babysitter for the kids?" Shinigami-san asked Spirit.

* * *

><p>Back at the mansion, the babysitter, a guy in a bear mask named Tezca Tlipoca, was reading to the kids.<p>

"_So that is who Finnick loves, I think. Not his string of lovers in the Capitol, but a poor, mad girl back home_," Tezca read from his book. Soul and Black*Star began crying.

"This part always gets me! Finnick x Annie forever, guys!" Soul sobbed.

"Wahhh! Why did Finnick have to die?!" Black*Star sobbed. Tezca shurgged.

"That's nice, kids. If you need me, I'm gonna go get some vodka," Tezca said before leaving the mansion. The kids grew silent.

"Okay, then... Who wants to go with me and Heathcliffe to Burger King?" Kid asked everyone.

"You aren't bringing Patty and Liz?" Maka asked Kid.

"We're not hungry," Liz answered.

"Okay, then, have fun. Don't end up like Soul and Black*Star and end up at the hospital," Maka said cheerfully.

"Maka, shut up!" Soul and Black*Star yelled. Maka hit them with the book she was reading, _The Luxe_. "Ow! Maka, that was historical fiction, and it hurts the most!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in Reno...<p>

"That's it! I can't take this anymore!" Justin shouted. A few minutes later, he arrived at the Atlantis Hotel and Casino, where Huey was staying.

"Welcome to the Atlantis. Can we -" The receptionist asked before Justin cut her off.

"What room is Huey Laforet staying in?" Justin asked the receptionist.

"Room 1515," The receptionist asked. Justin pulled out a five and put it on the counter.

"Thanks, ma'am. Here's a five," Justin said before he ran off. Huey walked by a few moments later.

"Have I seen that man before?" Huey asked to himself. Fifteen floors up...

"I'm coming for you, Huey Laforet! Come at me, bro!" Justin yelled as he knocked down the door to Huey's hotel room.

"Fool! What has brought you here today?"

Justin looked down, and he saw... Some type of weird creature that looked like the Pokémon Snivy. It carried a pimp cane, wore a top hat, and had a notable lack of pants. Justin sweatdropped.

"Who - no, what - are you?" Justin asked. Whatever this thing was pointed his cane at Justin.

"Fool! You DON'T KNOW who I am?! I am the Holy Sword, Excalibur. My legend began in the 12th century..." Excalibur explained. Some time later...

"...And, lastly, my final rule is this: if you're going to read _The Hunger Games _trilogy by Suzanne Collins, please read Brian Lee O'Malley's _Scott Pilgrim vs. The World _as a palate cleanser afterwards," Excalibur explained. Justin now had almost five feet in paper filled with writing.

"Got it!" Justin said as he finished writing the last of Excalibur's many tasks. "Are you sure I can do all of that?"

"Oh, yes, you can. All you have to to is believe," Excalibur explained. "And, with that, I think it's time for a sing-a-long. Here we go!"

Justin facepalmed.

"_Excalibur  
>Excalibur<br>From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him  
>I'm going to California!<em>

_Excalibur,_  
><em>Excalibur<em>  
><em>From the United Kingdom, I'm looking for him<em>  
><em>I'm going to California!<em>

_Excalibur_  
><em>Excalibur<em>  
><em>Excalibur<em>!" Excalibur sang as he did some dance moves. "Now, you must find a high school or church choir group, and -"

Justin picked up Excalibur, opened a window, and threw Excalibur out of the 15th story window.

"Be gone, you prick!" Justin shouted.

"Forever alone!" Excalibur shouted before turning into his Holy Sword form. Justin turned to back to the room.

"Alrighty, then, let's get to work," Justin said to himself as he pulled out a sledgehammer.

* * *

><p>"I just got a text from Maka. We have to go to Target to pick up some milk on the way home," Kid explained as he looked at his iPhone. Currently, he and Heathcliffe were at Burger King, finishing up their meal.<p>

"Fair enough. Holden asked me to pick up some conditioner for colored hair and some blue hair dye," Heathcliffe said. Kid just gave him a weird look.

"I think they only sell that hair dye at Hot Topic," Kid stated. True to Kid's word, Target didn't sell the blue hair dye, so Kid and Heathcliffe only bought the conditioner and the milk.

"Watch, some guy is going to look at us in a weird way for buying two items that have nothing to do with each other," Heathcliffe said.

"Acutally, I am looking at you funny for buying conditioner and milk. What are you planning tonight?"

Kid and Heathcliffe turned back to see a man named Izaya Orihara. Izaya was holding a basket filled with gossip magazines, sushi, matches, and a cell phone minutes card.

"That depends. What are YOU planning with those magazines, sushi, matches, and that cell phone minutes card?" Heathcliffe asked back.

"A night of trolling," Izaya stated before he recognized Kid. "And you must be Death the Kid, the son of Shinigami-san, who recently took the principal job at the DWMA's Vegas/Death City branch."

"That's me," Kid said. "This is Heathcliffe, a friend of mine."

"Pleased to meet such fine specimens! My name is Orihara Izaya, and I work as an informant in this beautiful city we call 'Las Vegas'," Izaya introduced himself. Kid and Heathcliffe sweatdropped.

"Specimens? Informant? Trolling? Just what are you playing?" Kid asked Izaya.

"A Game of Thrones," Izaya stated. "I want to see how far this feud between your father, mafia don Ladd Russo, multi-millionare Yao Wang, and mafia don Maiza Avaro go before there's bloodshed."

"Umm... How do you know this?" Heathcliffe asked Izaya.

"I have my sources," Izaya explained, crossing his arms. "Plus, I was at the introductory party over at the Monte Carlo. Some chick with the Russos attending the party got arrested for having a shotgun, which is partially my fault since the Russos bought it from me."

"Excuse me?!" Kid and Heathcliffe yelled.

"Just WHY are you giving the Russos weapons?! They hate us, and they could kill us with those weapons!" Kid cried.

"Oh, I sold it on Ebay back when I was living in Ikebukuro. Ladd Russo just happened to buy it from me," Izaya said with an evil grin. Kid slapped Izaya across the face.

"You, sir, are truly the personification of an internet troll," Kid stated.

* * *

><p>When Kid and Heathcliffe got home, the adults were also home. Marie was currently ranting angrily.<p>

"I can't believe this! Zhao Wang had THE NERVE to go up onto the karaoke stage and announce my engagement to Leon! THAT is FUCKING HARDCORE! I AM NOT MARRYING LEON WANG, THE LITTLE PRICK WHO SIGNED A MARRIAGE CONTRACT WHILE DRUNK OFF OF SAMBUCA OR SOME OTHER SHIT!" Marie ranted, slurring her words a bit because she was (pretty) drunk. As Professor Stein and Sid restrained Marie, Kid and Heathcliffe sweatdropped.

"Did we... Miss anything?" Kid asked Spirit.

"You didn't. Go to bed," Spirit said with a wave of his hand.

"Okay, then..." Kid said before he and Heathcliffe went upstairs. They didn't know that life as they knew it was going to get just plain weird.

"Hey, where did the babysitter go?" Spirit asked everyone.

**End of Episode Three.**

* * *

><p><strong>(1) - <strong>Disclaimer: Panda Express is not crap. In fact, it's one of my favorite places to eat.

**Review if you want to see the Ikkitousen-type Tournament begin!**


	4. Internet Trolling Times Ten

**Author's Note: **And, here is episode four of our exciting saga.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater, Hetalia, Baccano!, Blue Exorcist, Beatmania IIDX, Shin Megami Tensei: Persona 4, Homestuck, D. Gray-man, Gintama, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, One Piece, Eureka Seven, Kuroshitsuji, Sgt. Frog, Fairy Tail, Pop'n Music, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, any of the Vocaloids, Durarara!, or Game of Thrones. And, all of those fandoms but Game of Thrones will have characters appear at least once in this series.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Four: "Internet Trolling Times Ten."<strong>

**Summary**: "During the Ikkitousen-type tournament in his honor, Shinigami-san looks into why Mephisto Pheles quit his job at the DWMA and moved to Japan. But, all he finds out about Mephisto's final days in Vegas is that he took a sudden interest in gangsters. With Ennis, she almost gets into a fight with Silzard. Back in Nevada, Justin shoots the breeze with Marie's ex and Claire gives Black*Star and Soul apology gifts for what he did. Sadly, Marie ends up pressing charges against Claire for maiming Soul and Black* are getting real in this _Game of Thrones _parody."

* * *

><p>It was the day of the Ikkitousen-Type Tournament, and everyone was attending the DWMA's huge sports arena to watch people fight each other. Except for Shinigami-san, who was actually reading in the library.<p>

"Hey, Shinigami-san, your tournament just started! Why the hell are you in here?! You should be outside!" Tezca yelled as he entered the library.

"Oh, I'm just trying to look into why Mephisto left so suddenly. All of the books on the DWMA don't tell me anything, because they all end right when he became principal," Shinigami-san explained. "Do you know anything about Mephisto Pheles and his last days in Vegas?"

Tezca sighed.

"He took a sudden interest in gangsters and the mafia. He toured the mob museum here in Vegas, and he marathoned the entire _Godfather _movie saga in one weekend. And, I believe he gave me season one of Boardwalk Empire as a parting gift," Tezca explained. "If you want, you can read through that stack of 1920's-set fiction on the table next to the big armchair. Mephisto must've been in a hurry and forgot to put them back."

"Will do," Shinigami-san said before Tezca left the room. Shinigami-san then sat on the big armchair and turned to the books on the end table next to him.

"_The Diviners, Bright Young Things, Beautiful Days, The Lucky Ones, Vixen, Ingenue, Diva_... What the?! These are all for teenaged girls!" Shinigami-san cried. "Ah, well. At least Tezca didn't hand me a copy of the 1920's equivalent to _Twilight _or _Fifty Shades of Grey_."

Shinigami-san grabbed the copy of _Bright Young Things_ and studied the cover.

"Isn't _Bright Young Things _that movie where the Tenth Doctor grew a mustache? Ah, well, it sounds like a good book," Shinigami-san said to himself before he opened the book. Ninety minutes later... (1)

"Well, I didn't find anything useful, but damn, this is a good book! I think I'll buy a copy for Maka if she doesn't already have one!" Shinigami-san said to himself as he marked his page and closed the book. He then looked to the clock on the wall. "Oh, shit! It's time for the last fight in the Ikkitousen-Type Tournament! And, it's the one with Mephisto's brother!"

A few minutes later, Shinigami-san arrived at the Ikkitousen-Type Tournament.

"Where's Amaimon Pheles?!" Shinigami-san asked Spirit and Professor Stein, who were walking toward the concession stand.

"Right there," Professor Stein answered as he pointed to an unconscious Amaimon, who was being carried away on a stretcher.

"What in my name happened?!" Shinigami-san cried.

"A Wang bodyguard, Arthur Kirkland, used various Harry Potter curses on him," Spirit explained.

"Did he used Avada Kedavra?!" Shinigami-san cried as he grabbed Spirit's shirt.

"No, that spell's illegal," Spirit explained. Shinigami-san sighed.

"Now how am I going to find out how Mephisto spend his last days here?" Shinigami-san asked himself.

"Hack his Twitter. I'm sure that'll work," Professor Stein explained. Three hours later, Shinigami-san managed to hack his way onto Mephisto's Twitter account.

"'Eating at Burger King right now. Having my meal my way'? 'Going to the cleaners to pick up my hat. Free candy galore'? 'Pretty Little Liars season premiere tonight. Don't spoil it for me'? 'The Bellagio has the best slots. Kudos to Tom, the High-Roller Room blackjack dealer'? What is all this useless crap?!" Shinigami-san cried. "Maka, can you be a good Meister and Facebook-stalk somebody for me?!"

"Hey! Who hacked into my Twitter account?!" Wolfgang cried from another room.

* * *

><p>Over in New York, Firo was taking the mail in.<p>

"Bill, bill, L.L. Bean catalogue, coupon circular, Martillo family newsletter... Jury duty?! What is dis, da Great Depression?! Da mafia doesn't serve on jury duty!" Firo cried.

"Firo, did our wedding resigtry gifts come in the mail?" Ennis asked.

"No, dey didn't. Why do ya ask?" Firo asked.

"It's been several days since our wedding, and I would like to have some new plates and coffee cups in this house," Ennis explained.

"Ennis, what's wrong with my coffee mugs with the bunnies on them?" Maiza asked. Ennis sighed as she got up.

"That's the reason. No grown man would own coffee mugs with bunny rabbits on them," Ennis explained. "I'm going to go see if Silzard knows about this."

A few minutes later, Ennis found Silzard in the library.

"Silzard, my wedding registry gifts haven't been delivered yet. Do you know what's taking the delivery so long?" Ennis asked. Slizard looked up from his book and glared at Ennis.

"Was that a condescending remark I just heard?!" Silzard asked.

"No, it was not," Ennis said. Silzard got up and grabbed his cane.

"Do I have to beat some sense into you?! You need to treat me with respect, Ennis! I am your adoptive grandfather, so you must -" Silzard yelled before the doorbell rang.

"Ennis, da wedding gifts from Isaac and Miria are here!"

Silzard lowered his cane.

"Well, that answers your question. Forgive me for my earlier behavior," Silzard said before he resumed reading his book. A few seconds later, Silzard looked back up to Ennis. "What are you staring at? Go take the package in before someone takes it!"

* * *

><p>That evening, in Reno, Justin decided to go to a local sports bar to take the load off and relax.<p>

"What are you waiting for?! Blacking out?! Drink the damn shot!"

Justin turned his head, where a mafioso named Dallas Genoard was yelling at Justin's neighbor, Joe Buttaki.

"You're drunk! I don't know how you ended up with me!" Joe yelled.

"That'll be enough."

Justin approached the two. Dallas turned to Justin.

"You know, you're messing with the ex-boyfriend of a Death Scythe," Justin pointed out. Dallas took a long swig from his bottle of Jagermeister.

"That sounds like a good name for an anime! You Know, You're Messing With the Ex-Boyfriend of a Death Scythe. Thanks for giving me the idea to make my own anime, buddy! I'm going to go home and write it now!" Dallas slurred before he kissed Justin and ran off. Justin sweatdropped as Joe got up from his seat.

"Justin Law. It's been a while," Joe remarked.

"Yeah, only a few days. Anything I missed while I was gone?" Justin asked.

"Nothing much. The Okumura twins are keeping odd hours. They leave for school early in the morning, and they don't get back until around eight at night," Joe explained. "I heard rumors that they're attending a school in Lake Tahoe with a VERY grueling schedule."

"Must be military school," Justin remarked.

"It must be, since the infamous Shem Hinazuki is the principal," Joe explained. "Say, weren't Spirit Albarn and Professor Fraken Stein teaching at his school?"

"They were, until Shinigami-san got them to come to their senses and work for the DWMA," Justin explained. "But, that's all in the past. Shem's not really doing anything, so we should be okay."

"Justin... Do you realize that Rin Okumura is the son of Satan? Shem has his hands on him and his brother, Yukio. Do you realize how screwed they are if Shem finds out about Rin's parentage?" Joe asked Justin, who took a swig from his drink.

"It's not like Shem's going to go on Maury Povitch to prove who the father is," Justin remarked.

* * *

><p>"What do you want, Stadfelt?"<p>

Over in Vegas, Claire was at the doorstep of the Shibusen-Capricorns.

"I need to talk to Soul and Black*Star for a moment. I promise that I won't do anything," Claire explained.

"If you say so..." Marie said as she turned inside. "Soul, Black*Star, there's someone here to see you!"

Marie turned back to Claire.

"Try anything funny, and I will drag your ass to court."

Marie turned around and went back inside the house. A few moments later, Soul and Black*Star arrived at the front door.

"Oh, it's you. You're the guy who beat us up because we accidentally walked in on you and your girlfriend screwing each other," Soul remarked. Claire sighed.

"That's the reason I'm here. I just want to let you two know that I am very sorry for what I've done. It was an accident, and I was slightly tipsy. Let us bury the hatchet, okay?" Claire explained.

"Uhh... Okay?" Black*Star said. Claire reached into his pocket, and grabbed two credit cards.

"Here, take these AmEx cards. There's no limit on them. Don't worry about bills - I'll cover them," Claire said as he gave the credit cards to Soul and Black*Star, who inspected them.

"_Is this bribery at the highest form, or what_?" Soul thought to himself. "Thanks, man."

"No problem. I'll see you two around," Claire said before he turned around and began to walk away. But, when he was five steps away from the mansion, several police cars pulled up to the mansion.

"Claire Stadfelt, you are under arrest for aggravated assault! We have you surrounded!"

Upstairs, all of the adults were watching Claire get arrested.

"We got him," Maire said before she gave Professor Stein a high-five.

**End of Episode Four**

* * *

><p><strong>(1) <strong>- _Bright Young Things _is not only the name of a 1920's-set book series I like, it's also the name of a 1920's-set movie where David Tennant has a mustache and a combover, and he doesn't even look like David Tennant. Google Image "David Tennant _Bright Young Things_" and then Google Image "Tenth Doctor" and compare the two.

**Review if you want to see Claire's trial!**


	5. Claire Stadfelt Goes to Jail

**Author's Note: **Claire Stadfelt doesn't really go to jail. But, I do like the episode title.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Five: "Claire Stadfelt Goes to Jail."<strong>

**Summary**: "While on their way to the courthouse for Claire's trial, Marie, Kartik, Shinigami-san and Spirit are attacked by Russo family members who claim that Claire is innocent. But, an old friend of Kartik's, Sebastian Michaelis, saves them and defends them in court. In Reno, Joe finds out that Marie got engaged to Leon, so he and Justin decide to take some Rex Kwon Do lessons. At the Ikkitousen-type tournament, Leon's bodyguard, Alfred F. Jones, and his "bestie", Arthur Kirkland, get into a large fight, which reveals that Mephisto left for Japan for "asking questions". But, when Yuki-Rin and Kazuma end up eavesdropping on an important conversation about Ennis' potential pregnancy, it leads to what Yuki-Rin calls "the bitch fight of the century" between Spirit and Ladd. Who will be winning like Charlie Sheen in this _Game of Thrones_?"

* * *

><p>The next day, Kartik, Marie, Spirit, and Shinigami-san made their way to the courthouse, ready to face Claire in his trial.<p>

"Thanks for backing me up, guys," Shinigami-san commented.

"No problem. As long as it means free hookers for me," Spirit said. Marie punched him across the face.

"That's from Maka. Also from Team Maka, we have this," Marie said before looking down at a note. "_Thanks for making us waffles for breakfast. Soul_."

"Why didn't my daughter thank me?!" Spirit cried as Shinigami-san tried to find a good parking spot.

"Well, shortly after breakfast, she said something about needing to start reading _Vanity Fair _or something. Naturally, I whole-heartedly agreed with Maka, since, one, she's probably not in the mood to talk to you right now because we're going to Claire Stadfelt's trial. And, two, kids today need to be more cultured and educated," Kartik explained.

"I agree with you, Kartik. Kids today need to read more and - Did you just call me a bad father?!" Spirit cried. Kartik sighed.

"No, I didn't. Everybody's been a bit tense because of the move down here. It'll pass," Kartik explained as they got out of the car.

"Hey, guys, there's a bunch of people in white standing outside. What's going on?" Marie asked as she pointed to several Russo hitmen standing outside of the courthouse. Spirit's eyes widened.

"Oh, God... Run!" Spirit cried. But, the Russo hitmen got to them first.

"Ow! Not the face! Not the face!" Shinigami-san cried as one of the hitmen punched him in the arms.

"Free Claire Stadfelt!" The hitmen shouted.

"Ow! Mommy!" Spirit cried as one of the hitmen slapped him repeatedly across the face. But, as soon as the hitmen began attacking them, they stopped.

"That'll be enough. They're just the innocent ones."

A man named Sebastian Michaelis and his ward, Ciel Phantomhive, approached them.

"Thank you, good sir. Are you here for the trial?" Spirit asked Sebastian, who smiled.

"Of course. We're on jury duty," Sebastian explained. "Kartik Abingdon, is that you?!"

"Sebastian Michaelis?! I haven't seen you since the graduation party!" Kartik said. "Guys, this is Sebastian Michaelis. He was my roommate back in Harvard."

"And, I am Ciel Phantomhive, his ward," Ciel introduced himself with a bow.

"_How did a child get on jury duty?_" Marie thought to herself. Sebastian checked his watch.

"Oh! We better get going! In the meantime, need me to say anything to the jury?" Sebastian asked the four.

"Hmm... Just tell them it was an accident, since Soul and Black*Star didn't know Claire and Chane were having sex," Shinigami-san explained.

"Sounds legit," Sebastian commented.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, in Reno, Justin was watching Maury Povitch.<p>

"_You're not the father_."

Justin cringed as the couples began arguing, pulling each other's hair, waving paternity suits in each others' faces, and physically fighting.

"Ouch. That guy's going to be sore tomorrow," Justin commented as the doorbell rang. "Not now! There's another baby daddy case coming up!"

The doorbell rang again. Cursing under his breath, Justin went to the front door, where Joe was waiting for him.

"Oh, hey, Joe," Justin greeted. Joe punched him in the face.

"You jackass! You didn't tell me Marie was getting married to a rich guy from China!" Joe cried before he kicked Justin down.

"Look, Joe, I can explain," Justin said. And, Justin DID explain why Marie was getting married to Leon when Leon came of age.

"I see. Well, you guys DID move to Las Vegas, so this doesn't surprise me. Did she have a one-night stand with this Leon fellow?" Joe asked Justin.

"The kid's, like, seventeen or something. If a one-night stand did occur, Marie would be arrested. She just signed some marriage contract while she was drunk," Justin explained.

"Wow, that's hardcore," Joe commented. "Anyway, that's not really the reason why I'm here. I'm here to give you an invitation to take some Rex Kwon Do lessons with me. Not only do I want to stay in shape in case Marie moves back to Reno, we'll learn some self-defense in case bad people like Huey Laforet or Ladd Russo cross our paths again."

"Sounds legit. I'm in," Justin said before heading back into the house. A few minutes later, Joe and Justin were at the Rex Kwon Do dojo.

"Welcome to Rex Kwon Do, where you will learn the art of... Rex Kwon Do," The dojo master, Might Gai, explained. "Oh, and before you ask, my name is not Rex. It's Gai."

"Hi, Gai," The Rex Kwon Do class greeted.

"_This feels like something I'd see in an indie flick_," Justin thought to himself. The next thing Justin knew was that Gai had pinned him to the ground and held him in a headlock.

"Bow to your sensei! Bow to your sensei! BOW TO YOUR SENSEI!" Gai yelled to Justin. An hour later, Justin and Joe left the dojo.

"We're never doing that again," Joe said.

"Agreed," Justin said back.

* * *

><p>Over in Las Vegas, a different sort of fighting was going on, since the Ikkitousen-Type Tournament was still going on.<p>

"See, I told you this was fun for the whole family," Shinigami-san explained to his adult colleagues.

"You abandoned the kids at the Forum Shops at Caesar's Palace. How is that family-friendly?" Marie explained.

"Oh, them? They got bored, so I abandoned them and told them that the first one to find their way out of the mall gets candy," Shinigami-san explained. Over at the FAO Schwartz in the Forum Shops...

"Holden Sarutobi, your dancing sucks! It is asymmetrical garbage! Same goes for you, Soul!" Kid yelled. Currently, Holden and Soul were playing Dance Dance Revolution, and Kid was disgusted that they looked asymmetrical.

"Shut up! This is how I get such nice legs!" Soul yelled back. Kid facepalmed.

"Wanna get some ice cream?" Maka offered.

"Please," Kid pleaded. Back at the fighting tournament...

"Ow! Right in the nuts!" Spirit commented. The males of the party winced in pain as one of the "combat fighters" screamed in pain.

"Ouch. I'd scream too if my nuts were in pain. That's the kind of man I was," Sid commented. Professor Stein sighed and lit up a cigarette.

"Okay, we're going home. I don't want to see anymore painful groin attacks," Professor Stein said.

"I know! Plus, the popcorn they sell is, like, five bucks a bag," Marie added.

"And we were supposed to get box seats," Kartik added as the group began walking back to the car.

"That only applies to your _Phantom of the Opera_ or _Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil _or something," Spirit argued.

"Isn't _Zumanity _a porn show?" Professor Stein asked everyone. Spirit pouted.

"Don't judge me," Spirit said.

"Dude, you know the mafia totally offed Mephisto! That whole thing about going to Japan to become the principal of a new school is bullshit!"

"Your theory makes no bloody sense. If Mephisto were dead, then who is sending the faculty of Shibusen saké and Japanese candy?"

A bodyguard named Alfred F. Jones was arguing with a man named Arthur Kirkland. Leon and Yao stood near Arthur.

"Shit! Look what the cat dragged in!" Marie whispered as she pointed to Leon and Yao. Leon whispered something to Yao as he pointed to Marie. Yao nodded in agreement.

"That's beside the point, you git. Mephisto only left because he got nosy. If he kept his mouth shut, none of this would've happened and Shinigami-san would've continued to live a peaceful life in Reno," Arthur explained. Yao nodded.

"Marie, would you like to give your opinion on why Mephisto left Las Vegas?" Yao asked. But, the adults were already in Spirit's Prius, driving away from the tournament.

"That... Was a close one," Spirit stated as he drove.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Yuki-Rin and Kazuma were the first ones out of the teenaged Capricornsweapons/meisters at the breakfast table.

"Good morning, Yuki-Rin, Kazuma! I'm making muffins!" Spirit said as he pulled a batch of muffins from out of the oven.

_I'm sexy and I know it_  
><em>I'm sexy and I know it<em>  
><em>I'm sexy and I know it<em>

Yuki-Rin and Kazuma sweatdropped.

"Whoops! That's my phone! I got a new ringtone last night!" Spirit said as he grabbed his phone off of the kitchen table and answered it. "Hello? Oh, hey, Roderich. What's up? Wait... What did Eridan and Feferi say?"

The room grew silent.

"Ennis fucked WHO?! And she's pregnant?! Hold on a second, 'kay?"

Spirit turned to the two confused teenagers.

"Help yourselves to some muffins," Spirit told Yuki-Rin and Kazuma before resuming his phone conversation. "I mean, Ennis and Firo weren't ready to have children, but -"

"Yuki-Rin, what's Spirit-sensei talking about?" Kazuma asked Yuki-Rin as he grabbed a muffin.

"I have no idea. He's probably talking about whores like he does every day," Yuki-Rin explained. Blair, in cat form, then walked into the room.

"Wait... Who fucked who?" Blair asked Yuki-Rin and Kazuma. That afternoon, Spirit and Sid were walking on the Strip to discuss things.

"Who fucked WHO?!" Sid asked Spirit.

"Apparently, mobster Firo Prochainezo and his new wifey, Ennis. That's what I heard from Roderich," Spirit explained.

"So, let me get this straight - We're in Vegas, Firo and Ennis are in New York, and Roderich is in Los Angeles. News travels fast, doesn't it?" Sid asked. Before Spirit could answer, something tripped the both of them up.

"Ow!" Spirit cried as he got up.

"Ahahahahaha! That was cool!"

Ladd stepped out from some bushes.

"What are you doing here?" Sid asked Ladd.

"Oh, did you hear? The new Mrs. Prochainzeo is preggers," Ladd asked Sid and Spirit.

"We know, we - How did you know?" Spirit asked Ladd.

"Oh, maybe that nice kid over there told me in exchange for my money," Ladd said innocently as he pointed to Izaya, who was buying a hot dog from a hot dog cart.

"How does this affect you? I mean, you have nothing to do with this woman," Sid pointed out.

"Oh, I plan to send my hitmen to NYC to assassinate her. We don't need anymore Prochainezos, Avaroes, or Martillos running around," Ladd explained. Spirit kicked him across the face.

"You are going too far! You plan to kill a baby AND a chick with nice boobs! That REALLY pisses me off!" Spirit said before kicking Ladd in the groin.

"Bitch, PLEASE!" Ladd cried before punching Spirit in the stomach. Spirit fell to the ground.

"My spleen!" Spirit cried as he tried to get up. But, Sid stopped Ladd and Spirit from fighting.

"Hey, hey, hey, no fighting. Let's not go to jail today, okay?" Sid explained. "Truce?"

Spirit and Ladd shook hands, although they were still glaring at each other.

"You win this round, Albarn. Don't think this Game of Thrones is over," Ladd explained.

"I'll tell you this, Ladd - Watch your back. You never know when you'll be knocking on death's door," Spirit explained before he and Sid walked away. A few minutes later.

"We're back!" Spirit announced as he and Sid entered the mansion.

"What happened?" Yuki-Rin asked, not looking up from her Nintendo DS.

"Oh, we got into a fight with Ladd Russo over a pregnant girl. It was nothing," Spirit explained as he rubbed the back of his neck. The room went silent, save for the game Yuki-Rin was playing.

"Huh. Must've been the bitch fight of the century," Yuki-Rin flatly commented. What they didn't know was that one bitch fight would lead to several more bitch fights to come.

**End of Episode Five**

* * *

><p><strong>Ending Note: Review if you want to see somebody lose the Game of Thrones!<strong>


	6. Who Was Phone?

**Author's Note: **And, so, we have our first loss in the Game of Thrones - Silzard. How did he lose? Read on.

**Disclaimer: Nope. I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Six: "Who was Phone?"<strong>

**Summary**: "The meisters/technicians/pirates have a new neighbor in Eruka Frog, a witch who may or may not be hiding ulterior motives. But, that's beside the point. The real plot of this episode is this - Claire is aquitted of all charges Marie pressed against him, Leon FINALLY apologizes to the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance for trolling the teenagers, Shinigami-san learns that Leon was adopted by Arthur before Yao raised him, and Silzard loses in this _Game of Thrones _parody when Ennis and Maiza put him in an old folks' home and leave him there. Also, why isn't Team Justin in this episode?"

* * *

><p>The next day, all was peaceful in the mansion of the Shibusen-Capricorns. Yuki-Rin and Hana watched Doctor Who, Maka was reading the book <em>Matched<em>, and Spirit was watching porn up in his room.

That is, until the doorbell rang.

"Can somebody get that?!" Sid yelled. With a sigh, Professor Stein got up from his favorite office chair.

"I got it," Professor Stein yelled before he answered the door to a frog-like girl. "And, you are?"

"Ribbit! My name's Eruka Frog! I just moved down here a few days ago!" Eruka introduced herself.

"Small world. We just moved down here a few days ago too," Professor Stein commented.

"I know, right?" Eruka said. "Say, do you have any sugar, ribbit?"

"I think so," Professor Stein said. A few minutes later, Eruka got her sugar.

"Thanks, ribbit!" Eruka said as she left.

"No problem," Professor Stein called out before he went back inside.

"Who was that?" Spirit asked.

"Eruka Frog, our new neighbor. She just moved here a few days ago, like us," Professor Stein explained.

"Small world," Spirit said.

* * *

><p>Across town, Claire was at his trial, which was on its last day.<p>

"_Yeah, looks like I'm going to get acquitted. How can you have evidence of beating up two teenagers?_" Claire thought to himself.

"Jury, what do you find the defendant?" The judge, a teal-blooded Troll named Neophyte Redglare, asked the jury. Sebastian stood up and cleared his throat.

"We the jury find the plantiff not guilty on the basis of lack of evidence."

Redglare banged her gavel.

"Case dismissed," Redglare said. Claire turned to his lawyer, Rob Lucci, and shook his hand.

"Thanks, man. Without you, I'd be picking up trash on the side of the road," Claire thanked Lucci.

"And, without you, I'd be out of a job," Lucci said before Claire ran off. "Oi! Where are you going?!"

"No time to explain!" Claire yelled back. A few minutes and a an encounter with a cop that almost ending in a speeding ticket later...

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Marie yelled.

"I just want to say this - Chane and I are sorry for everything. We're the ones to blame," Claire explained. Marie just glared at Claire.

"Leave now before I call the police," Marie threatened. Claire sighed.

"Rude much?" Claire said before he left. Medusa then came out, suitcase in tow.

"What did I miss?" Medusa asked.

"Claire Stadfelt came over. I threatened to call the police on him, so he left," Marie explained.

"I see..." Medusa said to herself. "Well, I have a plane to L.A. to catch and a sister to spend the night with. If anything comes up, call me."

"Got that," Marie said before she turned around and went back into the house. What seemed like seconds after she closed the front door, the doorbell rang. "Did Medusa forget anything?"

Marie answered the door to Yao and a scowling Leon.

"Make it quick. I just had to deal with Claire Stadfelt, and I don't feel like dealing with any of your B.S. today," Marie commanded. A few minutes later, all of the Shibusen-Capricorns, Yao, and Leon were sitting in the living room.

"I'm very, very sorry that I did some horrible things to you. I hope you forgive me, and I hope we can move on from this," Leon explained.

"We accept your apology, Leon. We understand that the teenage years are rough, especially when you end up in an arraged marriage with no say in the matter," Azusa explained.

"But, if your arranged bride is hot, don't complain," Spirit added. Azusa then stomped on Spirit's foot. "What the hell?!"

Yao and Leon got up.

"Well, we have to get going. We've got dinner reservations with the Russos," Yao explained. "We'll see you around."

"See you," Shinigami-san said before Yao and Leon left the house. When the coast was clear, Shinigami-san turned back to everyone. "Alright, you're dismissed."

Everyone began to get up and leave.

"That Leon... He's a real piece of work. Of course, that's the kind of man I was," Sid explained.

"Did anybody see those eyebrows? It looked like they haven't been plucked once," Marie said. Shinigami-san froze in place.

"_Didn't I see bushy eyebrows on someone before?_" Shinigami-san thought to himself. "Well, I'm going on a drive to the 7-11. Does anybody need anything?"

"Porn!" Spirit yelled. Azusa hit Spirit on the head. "Stop that!"

* * *

><p>What seemed like minutes later, Shinigami-san was driving home from 7-11, when he had an epiphany.<p>

"Could it be?" Shinigami-san asked as he pulled into the driveway and ran inside. "Maka! Put these away for me!"

Shinigami-san threw the bag at Maka and ran into his study. Then, Shinigami-san booted up the computer and went straight to Ancestry Dot Com.

"What's going on?" Spirit asked as he and Professor Stein entered the room. Shinigami-san said nothing as he brought up Leon's family tree, which showed that he had a father with the last name of "Kirkland", not "Wang".

"Leon's a Kirkland? As in, related to Arthur Kirkland?" Spirit asked.

"He's Arthur's illegitamite brother. Arthur's mom had a one-night stand with Yao's father, and Leon was the result. Arthur's mom gave Leon to the Wangs to save face," Shinigami-san explained.

"Let us see," Spirit said. Shinigami-san got up, and Professor Stein and Spirit looked at the family tree.

"Son of a gun. Leon's a bastard child," Professor Stein commented.

"What do we do now?" Spirit asked Shinigami-san.

"I don't think we should do anything right now. I have to get the kids tested for combat abilities to see what classes they have to take at the DWMA," Shinigami-san said before he left the room.

"That's just lazy!" Spirit yelled to Shinigami-san. Professor Stein put his hand on Spirit's shoulder.

"Sempai, drop it. If we do something, then something will happen to us. Now's not the time - We just moved here and the kids are about to start school at the DWMA. We don't need trouble," Professor Stein explained. Spirit walked over to the window facing the backyard, where Heathcliffe was impressing Shinigami-san with his skills with a scythe.

"You do have a point," Spirit said as he watched Heathcliffe. After a moment of silence, Spirit spoke again. "Heathcliffe looks like he's fit to be a Meister..."

* * *

><p>Over in New York, Firo, Maiza, and Ennis were eating at the Alevare.<p>

"So, Maiza, wat did ya do wit Czes and Mary?" Firo asked Maiza.

"I left them with Ronnie. I couldn't trust Graham with babysitting tonight for some reason," Maiza explained. Just then, a drunk Silzard stumbled into the restaurant.

"ENNIS!" Silzard shouted as he stagged over to Ennis, who sweatdropped.

"What's going on?" Ennis asked. Slizard put his hands around Ennis neck.

"Death to the Mart -" Silzard shouted before a tranquilizer dart piereced his neck. After removing the dart, Silzard passed out.

"Nice job, Firo," Maiza told Firo, who put a blowdart gun under the table.

"Now wat do we do?" Firo asked as he picked up Silzard.

"Put him in the trunk of my car. We're going on a drive," Maiza said he pulled out his phone and dialed a number. "Hello, Ronnie? You may want to keep Czeslaw and Mary for the night."

* * *

><p>After driving around New York City all night with Slizard passed out in the trunk, Ennis, Firo, and Maiza arrived at an old folks' home.<p>

"Hello, could you please check my grandfather in? He's been declining mentally for some time now, and I would like you to care for him," Ennis asked. "He's right there."

Ennis motioned to a nearby chair, where Silzard was still passed out.

"Yes, we will take care of him. Just sign these papers," The receptionist explained. After signing the papers, Maiza, Firo, and Ennis went to Denny's to have breakfast.

"So, Firo, Ennis, what are you going to name the baby?" Maiza asked.

"Defintely not Slizard," Firo said. Ennis and Maiza began to laugh.

**End of Episode Six**

* * *

><p><strong>Ending Note: <strong>Who else thinks that Heathcliffe would make a good Meister?

**Review if you want to see things heat up!**


	7. You're NOT the Father

**Author's Note: **Well, nothing much to say except things get exciting.

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

* * *

><p><strong>Episode Seven: "You're NOT the Father."<strong>

**Summary**: "This is when everything falls apart. Ennis is nearly assassinated... Shinigami-san tampers with Yao's will... Leon changes the fate of a certain weapon... Justin finds employment at an arcade snack bar? Hey, the guy's gotta have some job security in our _Game of Thrones _re-make."

* * *

><p>That night, Ladd and Claire were eating in a nice restaurant in the Aria.<p>

"Alright, you know how Firo's new wife is pregnant, right?" Ladd asked Claire, who promptly choked on his food.

"What?!" Claire shouted. All eyes turned to the two mobsters. "You heard nothing!"

The people staring at Ladd and Claire resumed eating.

"Anyway... We've got to do something about this," Ladd explained.

"But, I like babies," Claire stated. Ladd facepalmed.

"Okay, okay, we'll spare the baby. But, Ennis has to go," Ladd explained.

* * *

><p>The next afternoon, Eruka came over to the mansion of the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance to get to know her new neighbors better.<p>

"So, Eruka, where do you come from?" Maka asked the frog-like witch.

"Ribbit. I come from Lake Tahoe. Ribbit," Eruka answered.

"Lake Tahoe?! I used to teach at a battling school up there! How come I never saw you?!" Spirit asked Eruka.

"I'm from the northern part of the lake. Did you teach in the southern part?" Eruka asked Spirit.

"Yes, I did. At Alfarshear Academy," Spirit answered.

"I know that place, ribbit! Those uniforms are the shit!" Eruka explained.

"You mean Alfarshear Academy is the place where you wear RPG clothing as your uniform in case of an attack on the academy?!" Soul asked with his hands clasped.

"Yes, and we may send you there if Ladd or Yao do bad things," Spirit deadpanned with a shudder. The adults laughed. "Not cool!"

The laughter died down.

"Oh, by the way, Eruka, why did you move down to Vegas?" Maka asked Eruka.

"I got a job at Shibusen, ribbit. I get to be a lunch lady, and I'm damn proud of it," Eruka explained.

"I see..." Soul said.

"Word of advice - Avoid the mystery meat," Kid explained.

"Mystery meat... Good times, good times," Soren commented.

"Bro, you got sick from eating the mystery meat once. Then, you got myself and Holden sick because of said mystery meat," Heathcliffe explained.

"That was a fun weekend. All we did was play Call of Duty, sleep, and watch cartoons," Holden added.

"How was that fun? We were constantly throwing up, and we could only eat toast," Heathcliffe asked his fraternal twin.

"And is it bad that we ordered pizza when we got better?" Soren asked his younger brothers. Maka sighed.

"How did the conversation shift from Eruka moving down here to the time Heathcliffe and his brothers got sick by eating mystery meat?" Maka asked Tsubaki.

"I have no idea," Tsubaki said.

* * *

><p>In Reno, Justin was arriving at the Rain Dinners Casino Resort, for he was going to start a new job.<p>

"Awesome job, here I come!" Justin said to himself as he entered the casino. "_Suck it, Karin. Working at a casino DEFINTELY gives me some job security until I go back to Vegas_."

A fancy-dressed man named Sir Crocodile walked up to Justin.

"You must be Justin. Right this way," Crocodile explained as he led Justin through the casino, up an escalator, and into the arcade. "Alright, sonny, here is your workplace."

Justin sweatdropped.

"Well, then, what do I do?" Justin asked Crocodile, who handed him an apron and a paper hat.

"You work at the concession stand. See you in five hours when you clock out," Crocodile explained.

And that is how Justin Law ended up working a concession stand.

"_What the fuck? Why didn't they give me blackjack dealer or valet like I asked_?" Justin thought to himself as two teenagers named Marvel and Glimmer walked up to the counter. "Welcome to the snack bar! May I take your order?" (1)

"WHOPPER!" Marvel shouted. "WHOPPER, NO ONION! LARGE FRIES!"

"Excuse me, Billy Mays, I'm bleeding from the ears here. Calm down," Justin said before turning to Glimmer. "Ma'am, what would you like to have?"

"Largest egg... And, the pickles... And, the pickles..." Was all Justin could make out since Glimmer was mumbling.

"Uhh... Ma'am, can I help you?" Justin asked Glimmer.

"And, the pickles! And, the milkshakes! And, the pickles!" Glimmer moaned sexily. "AND, THE PICKLES!"

Justin sweatdropped as Glimmer continued to moan about pickles in a sexual manner.

"Alright, ma'am, apparently, you want some pickles," Justin said to Glimmer.

"Chicken tenders... Sweet sauce all over my body," Glimmer whispered to Justin seductively. Justin turned red.

"Okay, someone get some sauce, now!" Justin called out to the fry cooks. After work, Justin went to the sushi bar in the casino.

"Man! Where's Joe when I need him?!" Justin commented.

"Right here, man."

Justin turned back, and he saw Joe working as a sushi chef.

"I hate you," Justin stated.

* * *

><p>In NYC, Maiza, Firo, Ennis, Czeslaw, Mary, Graham, and Shaft were walking through Central Park.<p>

"Man, it's a nice day out! Da sun is shinin', da birds are singin', Silzard is in an old folks' home... Can life get any better?" Firo asked everyone.

"Umm... Firo, aren't we forgetting that I may be pregnant and Maiza's rivals would possibly kill me because of it?" Ennis asked Firo.

"Who cares? Da Russos, Gandors, and Genoards aren't here. You'll be fine," Firo pointed out as they approached a lemonade stand that was being run by three kids, Vick, Rory, and Posy Hawthorne.

"Hello, mister! Would you like to buy some lemonade?!" Posy asked Firo as she held up a cup of purple, fowl-smelling liquid, which was defintely NOT lemonade.

"_Don't buy it, Firo. It's obviously dangerous,_" Firo thought to himself. "Sorry, kids, I forgot my money at home. Mind if I go home ta get my money?"

"Sure! Take as much time as you need to, mister!" Rory said. Firo then led his entourage away.

"What was that all about?" Ennis asked Firo, who turned to Ennis.

"Dey tried ta poison ya, Ennis! I warned ya!" Firo cried. A few feet away, Rory, Vick, and Posy's older brother, Gale, was watching from a distance.

"Damn it! Now what will I say to Dallas Genoard?!" Gale cried. Back with Firo and Ennis...

"So, now what?" Ennis asked everyone.

"We hit the Genoards with wrenches! That's what we do!" Graham answered. Maiza sighed.

"Why do I actually support this idea?" Maiza asked, shaking his head.

* * *

><p>Back in Vegas, Shinigami-san was having coffee with Chane and Ladd.<p>

"So, you're saying that Leon's ADOPTED?! What?!" Ladd cried as he banged his fists on the table. "This can't be! He has to take over the family business and marry -"

Spirit then entered the room.

"Oh, Shinigami-san, I need you for a second," Spirit said. Shinigami-san got up.

"I'll be right back. Help yourself to some scones," Shinigami-san said before he left the room.

"I'm not eating those rocks!" Ladd cried before he threw the scones at the wall. Over in the next room, Spirit, Shinigami-san, and Yao sat over a will.

"You're in your twenties. Why are we signging your will?" Spirit asked Yao.

"Well, I feel very threatened by the presence of the Russo mafia family, and I'm afraid they'll take my life to have my money, aru. So, it's better to be safe than sorry," Yao explained as Shinigami-san and Spirit began to sign the will. "Oh, by the way, I think my rightful heir is Leon. After all, he's getting married, aru."

Yao's cell phone rang.

"I'll be right back, aru," Yao said before he left the room to take the call. Spirit and Shinigami-san studied the will.

"Hmm... Should we let Leon inherit his older brother's wealth if Yao dies?" Spirit asked Shinigami-san.

"Nope. Haven't you learned from Lifetime movies that illegitamite children get nothing?" Shinigami-san asked Spirit.

"Well, that's not nice," Spirit pointed out.

"You know what? Let's just put down 'my rightful heir'. It does seem fair," Shinigami-san pointed out. Spirit nodded and wrote down Shinigami-san's words as Yao entered the room.

"I'm back! How's it going?" Yao asked the shinigami and the Death Scythe.

"We're finished!" Shinigami-san said as he handed the will to Yao, who skimmed it.

"Wonderful, aru! Thanks for helping me out!" Yao said as he signed the will.

"No problem. After all, you're working with death himself," Shinigami-san explained. A rimshot was heard in the background.

"Hahaha. You're funny, Shinigami-sama," Yao said as he gathered his things. "Anyway, I'll be going now. See you around, aru!"

Yao then left the manor. Shinigami-san and Spirit breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was a close one, man," Spirit said.

"You know, someday we'll look back on this and laugh. We helped a rich guy with his will and put in that ANYBODY could get his things when he dies," Shinigami-san explained.

"Am I right?" Spirit asked, causing the two to laugh. But, right outside, Izaya was spying on them in the bushes.

"Hmmm... Leon Wang is actually a Kirkland and Shinigami-san changes Yao's will because of this. Ooh! I'm telling Yao!" Izaya whispered to himself as he wrote in a notebook.

* * *

><p>That night, Yao gathered his family to hear his will.<p>

"Alright, kids, who wants to hear my will, aru?" Yao asked his brothers, sisters, and illegitamite brother.

"Can I get your Ferrari, ana?" Char asked Yao.

"Can I get our house in Macau?" Mei asked Yao.

"Can I get your expensive One Piece merchandise?" Kiku asked Yao, who smiled.

"You might, aru! First off, to my rightful heir... Wait - To "my rightful heir"?! That's supposed to say 'Leon'! Those cheating bastards!" Yao cried.

"And, there's no way to change it. The will is already set in stone," Stacey explained. Yao glared at his kids.

"Leon, get your ass over here, aru!" Yao cried, even though Leon was five feet away from him.

"Yes?" Leon asked. Yao then whispered something into Leon's ear. Leon nodded.

"So, does that sound like a plan, aru?" Yao asked Leon.

"Yes," Leon said. Yao clapped his hands.

"Perfect! We'll do it tonight!" Yao exclaimed.

* * *

><p>Later that night, it was a normal night on the Vegas Strip. People were having fun and partying, tourists were arriving for the weekend, and two police officers named Darius and Cray were walking the beat.<p>

"Hey, Darius, your 21st birthday is in a week, right?" Cray asked his younger co-worker.

"Yep," Darius answered. Cray smiled.

"Bring out the strippers and the alcohol - We're going all-out, Las Vegas local-style!" Cray announced. Darius grinned.

"Hell yeah! Strippers and -" Darius yelled before Cray hit him on the head with his nightstick.

"Looks like we have an erratic driver," Cray explained as he used his nightstick to point to an expensive convertible speeding down the strip. It appeared that the car was driven by...

"Shinigami-sama?! The new principal of the DWMA?! He'd never do these things!" Darius cried as he and Cray followed the car on foot. "Shinigami-san" then crashed the car into a tree and got out of the car running.

"Hey! Las Vegas Police here! Get back here!" Cray yelled as "Shinigami-san" began to jaywalk across the street. Cray and Darius followed suit as "Shinigami-san" ran into the Cosmopolitian and into an elevator. Darius and Cray were too late, as the elevator doors closed on them.

"Goddamn it!" Darius cried. Cray put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry. We can bust Shinigami-sama when he gets home," Cray said as the two walked away. A few minutes later, Leon walked out of the elevator "Shinigami-san" entered.

"My work here is done. Ladd, I am so sorry for trashing your penthouse," Leon apologized to himself. Meanwhile, at the Shibusen-Capricorn Alliance's mansion...

"*Sigh*... It's Friday night, and everyone's out on the town but us," Sid commented. Currently, Sid, Shinigami-san, and Professor Stein were at home watching T.V.

"It's Friday. Plus, the kids start school at the DWMA on Monday. Give them a little fun," Professor Stein explained. Then, Darius and Cray broke the door down.

"Everybody, freeze!" Cray yelled. Sid, Professor Stein, and Shinigami-san raised their hands in fear. "Shinigami-sama, you're under arrest for grand theft auto, vandalization, and jaywalking!"

Shinigami-san's eyes widened.

"What the fu -" Shinigami-san cried before Darius put handcuffs on his wrist.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court -"

Shinigami-san turned to Sid and Professor Stein.

"Get everyone back here now. The Wang family did this," Shinigami-san told Professor Stein and Sid before being led away. The two grew silent.

"Fifty says that it's revenge over that will," Sid said as he pulled out a fifty dollar bill. Professor Stein hit Sid on the back of his head.

"You sick man," Professor Stein commented.

* * *

><p>On the Las Vegas Strip, nobody knew about Shinigami-san's arrest as of yet. Take Heathcliffe and Aki for example, as they were having a romantic dinner at a Latin restaurant.<p>

"_Say something, Aki! Sarutobi-kun's eyes are on you!_" Aki thought to herself. "Uhh... You look handsome in that shirt, Sarutobi-kun."

Heathcliffe looked down at his shirt, which was a dark gray, collared shirt.

"Thank you, Aki. Is that a new dress? Because you look beautiful in it," Heathcliffe commented.

"Oh, this dress? You've seen me in it before, but thank you," Aki said with a laugh. A waiter approaced them with a chocolate cake.

"And, here is a cake for the lovely couple," The waiter said before walking away. Aki grinned.

"Sarutobi-kun, you didn't!" Aki commented in surprise. Without a word, Heathcliffe fed a forkful of cake to Aki.

"Just for you, my love," Heathcliffe whispered seductively. Aki reached over and kissed Heathcliffe on the cheek.

"Sarutobi-kun, thank you so much for taking me out on this date! This place is so romantic!" Aki gushed.

"And, if you think THAT'S romantic, watch this," Heathcliffe said as he helped Aki up from her chair and snapped his fingers. "Hit it!"

The marachi band then performed a marachi version of the Green Day song _American Idiot_, and Heathcliffe and Aki began to dance.

"Sarutobi-kun..." Aki whispered. Heathcliffe kissed her on the cheek.

"I love you with all my heart, Aki," Heathcliffe finished. At that moment, Professor Stein rushed in.

"Stop the music, stop the music!" Professor Stein yelled. The music stopped and Heathclifffe and Aki stopped dancing.

"Professor Stein, what's going on?" Aki asked Professor Stein.

"I'm sorry, but you're going to have to cut your little date short," Professor Stein said.

"Why? What happened?" Heathcliffe asked Professor Stein, who just sighed.

"Shinigami-san just got arrested on false charges of vandalization, grand theft auto, and jaywalking," Professor Stein told the lovers.

**End of Episode Seven.**

* * *

><p><strong>(1) - <strong>Marvel and Glimmer are from _The Hunger Games _and Crocodile is from One Piece.

**Review if you want to see Shinigami-san's fate!**


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